‘Live with this nagging feeling I’m different,
Can’t conform to the norm, I’m resistant,
May appear here, but always feel distant,
Nothing consistent since an infant,
Mood contingent to any commitment,
Love a word to which I am indifferent,
Indignant at the infringement,
So stringent, am I a delinquent?
Relations foreign, nothing in common,
All gains ill-gotten, feel lost and forgotten,
Why do I wilt when you lot all blossom,
Is everyone else here pure and I’m rotten,
Why did I need to hit my rock bottom,
Couldn’t get off that god damn toboggan,
Rabbit with a habit, lost in this warren,
Reflect on how I’m inept and too often,
Pray one day my thoughts they may soften,
I know I’m not special, not unique,
Simply write as selfish and weak,
To questions find partial answers I seek,
A semblance of purpose, like all’s not bleak,
Compelled after my tree felled, out to speak,
Underneath my smile, grit my teeth,
Seethe inside, self-counsel my grief,
Forever seeking healing brief relief,
Though thrilled I’ve skill I now have applied,
I still battle demons that plague my mind,
Jeer like critics sat at ringside,
Tell me I swing and I miss well wide,
Forever grapple feelings I can’t brush aside,
No agenda, just will not surrender,
My mind without at least looking inside,
I’m ensnared, prepared to not like what I find,
Pleading for meaning as there’s no guide,
Can’t use drink not to think on the snide,
That sunk my ship, took a hit capsized,
So no longer wet, in the sun I’ve dried,
Self-centred since the world I entered,
Self-obsessed, distressed if I’m not remembered,
So each time I find a new keyboard I pound it,
Come out, a little less stressed, well rounded,
A little more centred, little more grounded,
Rhyme for redemption, not quite yet found it,
Though I still struggle, it helps I can’t doubt it,
My love for lyricism is unbounded,
Lost my way, prayed and finally found it,
Abounded when seemingly was surrounded,
Hit a brick wall, but rebounded,
Realized all the lies are unfounded,
No self-discipline is crippling,
So stop talking, start listening,
Only then you begin transitioning,
Self-control for some just can’t be found,
So don’t even try and life turns around,
My biggest success in the grander scheme,
When clean feel serene like a trickling stream,
Beam like a Cheshire cat lapping up cream,
It’s therapy sharing these thought that I harbour,
Been laden with even more stress than Osama,
But past mistakes have now strengthened my armour,
Family and friend’s support I now garner,
Against any fist a pen will hit harder,
Done with the drama, need to feel calmer,
So look through a new lens, new panorama,
I’m lava, spitting like this you’ll find nada!’
Raconteur is an independent Hip Hop artist from London who’s now being played regularly across many US radio stations, most
recently featuring twice on ChuckD’s radio show ‘AndYouDontStop’. He’s also been featured in various music magazines and blogs being touted as ‘An extraordinary artist ready to explode onto the scene.’...more
Soulful and funky, the Nottingham rapper's latest features guest appearances from CRIMEAPPLE, Vandal Savage and Yumah. Bandcamp New & Notable Mar 2, 2024
